Разговор с президентом. Часть 2

Разговор с президентом. Часть 2

— Это правда, что вы отравили свою жену?

— Нет.

— Это правда, что вы отправили свою жену в монастырь?

— Нет.

— Это правда, что вы утопили свою жену в реке?

— Нет.

— Спасибо за искренние ответы.

A curious incident in the Moscow underground

I was standing on the platform waiting for the train with a book in hand. When the train came, I did not notice anything special about it but the car stopping before me being a little bit darker inside than usual. It is only when the train started off, that I perceived that the lights were put out. It was an absolute darkness in the car. By my side there was a group of young people – three or four girls and a youth. When I was entering, I saw that all the girls were looking at the boy with a clearly understandable interest indicating that he had not yet made up his mind who he wanted to be with. I should inform you all, ladies and gentlemen, that in most cases I act with impetuosity, forgetting all prudence. At that very moment I also proceeded offhandedly. I placed my hand on the thigh of the nearest girl. She did not draw back nor push off my hand. In the dark she could not see who the attacker was and probably thought it was her acquaintance. I began stroking her thigh making a sortie to the backside. She did not move. During the whole haul I traveled all over the girl’s thigh, and took away the hand only when the train began to slow down showing that the station is near. When the train stopped, I was standing still absorbed in a book. At the same time I was observing the young people in an underhand way. The girl in question was looking at the boy with a winsome smile, trying to show to him that she did not object to his advances, obviously hoping to have become his choice at last. The youth was looking at the girl indifferently.

Too bad I will never know the sequel of the relations among those young people.

Flower

Flower

Ибн аль-Му'тазз

Ибн аль-Му'тазз

The Husband

Mother and daughter.
Girl. Mother, I wish you would fetch me a Husband. I want one dreadfully.
Mother. Why do you wish to have a Husband? What would you do with one?
G. I want one to play with.
M. But a Husband cannot play with you. I should think you would prefer a kitten, for that can understand your play and play back again.
G. Yes, mother, and it can scratch and bite too. Now a Husband never scratches nor bites, and I like a Husband best.
M. You can teach a kitten not to scratch or bite, but you can't teach a Husband anything.
G. Can't I teach him to sit up, or to hold his tongue?
M. No, he will do that without teaching. I will fetch you a Husband, if you will tell me how he will be of any use to you.
G. He will make me love you better, dear mother.
M If I give you an orange, will not that do the same?
G. Why, mother, how you bother me. I want a Husband to look at, to hug, and to kiss, as if it was a little baby, but I do not hug and kiss an orange.
M. Do you think you could love a little Husband?
G. O yes, I am sure I could, if it was pretty.
M. Does my loving you depend upon your being pretty? I think it depends more upon your being good.
G. Well, mother, the Husband is always good as can be, but I am sometimes naughty.
M. The Husband is good because he can't be otherwise, and there is no merit in such goodness. To be really good, you must not only not do wrong, but you must do something right. Let me explain what I have said. I will fetch you a Husband if you insist upon it, but my opinion is, that you will like him much better, and he will do you much more good if you make it yourself.
G. I don't know how, mother.
M. I will show you.
G. Then I shall be glad to make him myself.
M. Though you may not make him so well as I could, at first, still he will be your own, and, you know, mothers love their own children better than other people's. (Kissing her.)
G. But, mother, why did you wish me to have a kitten instead of a Husband?
M. Because, in teaching such a young animal, you would learn much yourself that you couldn't learn from a Husband.
G. What would the kitten teach me, reading or spelling, writing or needlework?
M. She would teach you kindness. She would teach yon patience, if you had to bear with her ignorance ; forbearance, if you were tried by her ill temper ; forgiveness, if she offended you. There is hardly a virtue that would not be improved, if you treated her properly.
G. Why may I not have both a kitten and a Husband, then ?
M. You shall do so; and now I will go and find something to make the Husband of, while you go and get your work-box, for the best time to do work is while you are in the mood for it.

Похвала медику

Похвала медику

Кто этот храбрый молодец,

Что рад тебе помочь,

Когда грозит тебе 3,14здец

И жить уже невмочь?

Когда крадётся к нам недуг

Как подколодный змей,

Кто самый лучший тебе друг

Из всей толпы людей?

То врач отважный, он спешит

Всегда на помощь нам,

Ни днём, ни ночью он не спит.

Я честь ему воздам!

Voyage dans l'Indostan, par M. Perrin

Les nations Indiennes sont tout-à-fait ressemblantes aux Français pour les traits du visage, le maintien, le geste et la démarche. On ne fait point un pas sans s’y méprendre, sans croire distinguer dans la foule , des amis qu'on a laissés en France. Plus on examine, plus on est séduit : aussi, si l’on me demandoit une définition propre et caractéristique d’un Indien, je dirois c’est l’homme du globe qui ressemble plus aux Français, à la couleur près.